Grace in Small Things (GiST): 5/19/13

Grace in Small ThingsGrace is easier to find some days, weeks, and years than it is in others. This week has been a bit of a roller coaster:

We moved into our apartment (yay!), but it’s on post when we’d hoped to live off post (boo!).

We got our hold baggage (yay!), but we didn’t pack our router in it, so I can’t get online at home with my laptop (boo!).

We have the best little dog ever (yay!), but she definitely freaked out the first time we left her alone in the new apartment, peeing all over the kitchen floor (boo!).

You know what I mean, and I’m betting I’m not the only one who’s seen some ups and downs at the start of life in a new duty station.

Here are the little graces I’ve found in the midst of the ups and downs this week:

  • One of our neighbors planted flowers outside of our building today, and they’re lovely.
  • Our apartment gets wonderful, soft, natural light from two directions. I love it.
  • On a spontaneous date night, we discovered great meals and good beer at a tiny little German restaurant.
  • The sweet puppy cuddles like nobodies business when she’s in the mood.

What little graces are you glad for this week? Any thoughts on adjusting to the change associated with arriving at a new duty station? Your comments make my day!

 

 

Top 10 Things to Pack in Your Hold Baggage

Top 10

Today I offer to you my Top 10 List of thing to pack in your hold baggage on your OCONUS PCS.

This list is based on our experience arriving in Germany this month, moving into our apartment here, and receiving our hold baggage shipment.

Are there items you’d add to this list? Please leave a comment to share your advice with our readers!

 

The Top 10 Things to Pack in Hold Baggage on an OCONUS PCS

1. Pillows
Packing your own pillows will be a comfort and a money-saver!

2. Bedding
Sheets and blankets are expensive to repurchase. Save your money for a European day trip or dinner out by packing basic sheets and blankets into your hold baggage.

3. Shower Curtain, Curtain Hooks & Bath Mats
I recommend packing your shower liner, shower curtains, curtain hooks, and bath mats into your hold baggage rather than packing them into your household goods. You’ll have your bathroom items ready to set up in your new home right away, and you’ll also have them until just before you leave your old duty station. All-around, this will make your life just a little bit easier.

4. Hangers
Such a simple thing to pack, and yet we didn’t think of it.

5. Bicycles
It can take weeks for your vehicle to arrive at your new duty station on an OCONUS PCS, and your duty station’s on-post shuttles may have limited evening and weekend schedules. We packed our bicycles in our hold baggage, and we’re glad we did. The arrived on Friday, and beginning Monday, they’ll be our primary transportation for a while.

6. Wireless Router
You’re in a new town, on a new post, and maybe even in a new country. WiFi will allow your family to have access to the information they’re looking for on local events, transportation, and services, and it’ll also let you, your spouse, and your kids stay in better touch (via email, Facebook, etc.) with friends and family. That continuity is healthy, and it’s an easy thing to offer at a time when other forms of stability may not be within your control to provide to your family.

7. Extra Clothes/Jackets
While extra layers of clothes might take up too much space in your checked airline bags, you may want them when you arrive at your duty station. Rain jackets, sweatshirts, long-sleeved t-shirts and other layers of clothes can come in handy when you arrive in Europe.

8. Towels
You’ll be glad to have kitchen and bathroom towels for your new place while you’re waiting for your larger household goods shipment to arrive. In addition, if you use the fitness center on your new post, bear in mind that the sequestration has resulted in discontinued towel service. That means that you’ll need to bring your own towels to the gym, the locker room, or the pool.

9. Military Gear
Your service member will want to pack any military gear he or she might need in the first few weeks on the new duty station. My husband carried two uniforms, boots, and a few other military items with us on the plane, but had an entire foot locker in our hold baggage. His extra gear, boots, uniform parts, and PT clothes were inside that foot locker so that he had them soon after we arrived in Germany.

10. A Few Special Surprises
This may sound completely ridiculous, I know. But here’s the thing: You and your family have lived out of suitcases and duffel bags for however long you spent on leave and/or PCSing to your new duty station. You’ve worn the same clothes, shoes and accessories over and over again. Your kids have had the same few toys to play with, and you’ve slept in the same worn out t-shirt every night. By the time your hold baggage arrives, you’ll be ready for a little touch of home.

What I’m about to tell you is a personal touch that I will use on our future moves – especially once we have kids. In the future, I will pack something into our household goods shipment that’s special or fun to receive when we arrive at the next duty station. My favorite afghan for cuddling beneath while I read, an extra pair of jeans, a pretty scarf, a few framed photographs. In short, things that will make our new place feel little more like home.

This would be a great approach with kids, too. You can pack away a few favorite toys, games, PJs, blankets, or other goodies that they’ll have as a special surprise when the hold baggage arrives.

It’s no secret that PCSing is an emotional roller coaster at moments, so if packing a few special surprises into your hold baggage gives you and your family something fun to look forward to, do it. When you PCS, there are a thousand things that will be out of your control, so it’ll feel good to know that you’ve made the most of the few things that are within it.

 

5 Types of OCONUS PCS Shipments & What to Pack in Each

As we prepared for our German PCS, I had trouble finding recommendations on what to pack in hold baggage versus what to put into storage or household goods shipping. Now that we’ve landed in Germany, I hope that I can pass on to you, my friends, what I’ve learned so far about PCSing abroad.

Here’s a quick run-down of  the types of shipments you’ll be offered:

Household Goods (abbreviated as HHG): This is the *big* shipment that will include all of your furniture, rugs, kitchen items, and anything else you don’t want or need for your PCS travel. This shipment is bigger and slower than your other shipments, so don’t put anything in HHG that you want immediately after your arrival at your new duty station.

Hold Baggage: This is the smaller shipment of goods that are shipped to your new duty station expeditiously. In our case, our hold baggage arrived at about the same time we did (keep in mind that we shipped our hold baggage more than a month before we arrived in Germany).

Checked Bags: These are the bags that you’ll carry with you through your PCS. Be sure to look into size and weight allowances for whatever airline your flying, and be conscious that if you’re flying Patriot Express (the military chartered flight), your under seat storage might be a little less than you’re used to on commercial, civilian flights (this was the case on our flight).

Vehicle Shipment: My awesome husband managed all of the details related to the shipment of our vehicle, but I’ll share with you what I learned second-hand from him.

Long-Term Storage: The things that you put into long-term storage are the things that you won’t see again until you get back to the States. These things are placed into a long-term military storage facility (Lord knows where) and will be out of your reach until you request that the entire shipment (you can’t parcel it out) be delivered to you later on down the line.

Tomorrow, I’ll share my advice on how to pack hold baggage for your OCONUS PCS.

Wordless Wednesday: Wiesbaden Farmers Market

Wiesbaden Farmers Market 5-11-13 Collage

Vote For Your Favorite Title!

Name That Series

Nothing can stop an ambitious, loving military wife from achieving the balance she seeks between spending time with her family, being a good spouse, and creating a successful career.

This summer, Marrying the Army will publish a special series of blog posts featuring inspiring women who’ve found creative ways to manage their careers and families as military wives, and I’d like your help naming the series.

Can I have your opinion? I’d love to know what you think I should name this series of feature stories.

I want the series to inspire you as a reader, and to make the women I interview feel like they’re part of something really special.

I’ve put together a one-question survey here with a few different titles. Will you choose the title you think is the best?

Just click the button next to your favorite, and then click “done” at the bottom. OR, if you have a suggestion for an even better title, leave a comment in the comment field, below.

I’m so glad to have the opportunity to feature these great women. Thanks for your help!

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.

Grace in Small Things (GiST): Mother’s Day

Grace in Small Things

For the big things and the small things that our mom has done for my brother and I over the years, I want to dedicate today’s Grace in Small Things post to her.

  • Birthday candles in breakfast treats every year as kids. GiST.
  • Grilled cheese sandwiches and Sesame Street after morning Kindergarten. GiST.
  • Putting puzzles together on snow days. GiST.
  • Teaching me arts & crafts. GiST.
  • Trying everything in her power to make my straight hair curl in the 80s (when big hair was the only hair that counted). GiST.
  • Shopping for sweetheart, prom, and homecoming dresses together. GiST.
  • Standing by my side through my one and only year on the high school dance team. GiST.
  • Shuttling me from one activity to another until I turned 16 and could drive myself. GiST.
  • A pretty gold bracelet (that I still have) from her and her mom for my the first day of my senior year of high school. GiST.
  • Catching me after my heart was crushed in my 20s. GiST.
  • Letting me go away to college, then grad school, then Taiwan, then Colorado, and now Germany. GiST.
  • Spending a week sleeping on our love seat in Colorado while Nick was in Afghanistan, and never once complaining. GiST.
  • Sending amazing care packages. GiST.
  • Gentle hands and soft hugs. GiST.
  • A seemingly unending supply of kindness. GiST.

Mother's Day 2013 picmonkey

***

I took each of the photos in this collage yesterday at the farmers market in Wiesbaden Germany, except, of course, the photo of me with my mom. That one was taken in Ste. Genevieve, Missouri, at a February chocolate walk that my mom and I went to together. I love you, Mom!

***

A Note About Mother’s Day:

I’ve reached a stage in my life where my peers have begun to share with me their stories of infertility and miscarriage. Through Facebook, I’ve watched old friends struggle with overwhelming grief after unfairly losing infants and premature babies for reasons none of us understand. Some of my closest friends can’t wish their moms a happy Mother’s Day today because their moms are no longer with us. I have friends who are expecting their first children this year, and I have other friends who have adopted or fostered children who needed adults in their life to love and care for them.

In an increasingly complex world, I hope that all of us will take a moment today to reach out to the women we know whose situations aren’t simple. Who may or may not be a mom in the traditional sense, but for whom today may be no less special. This year, I’m thankful for my own mom. But my heart is also with my friends who’ve bravely faced quiet struggles around this complex thing we call motherhood. Happy Mother’s Day, and much love.

5 Tips for Making the Most of Living on Post

size0-army.mil-101611-2011-03-11-020305In the U.S., Army officers are usually allowed to live off post, but in Germany, on-post housing is now the standard. Yesterday we received confirmation that we’ll be living on the Army installation in a two-bedroom apartment (floor plans here).

Of course, we’d prefer to live on the local economy. We could probably live in a larger apartment there, and we’d be exposed more directly to German culture and language. Here’s what I’m learning about Army life though; you have to adapt to — and make the most of  — what you’re handed.

So here are my tips to making the most of living on post (when you’re rather not):

1. Stay Positive
In every situation, there are things to be thankful for, and living on post is no different. Look for the pros in your situation and keep the cons in context. You’re a military wife; you can handle deployments, TDYs, and time apart during field exercises. You can handle an on-post housing assignment, too.

2. Decorate!
Find one thing (or ten) that make home feel like home to you, and bring those things into your on-post housing. Do white walls feel sterile? Paint your walls. Does having throw rugs, curtains and coordinating decorative pillows make things feel cozier? Bring them from one home to the next. Does it feel empty in your apartment unless family pictures hang on your walls? Hang them. Putting your creative fingerprint on your interior space guarantees that it’ll feel more like home.

3. Be Nice
You may not love your neighbors, but you’ll feel better about yourself down the road if you’ve shown them common courtesy and kindness. Being short with them — or with your family — won’t change your situation, so try to treat your neighbors with consideration and grace. (Chances are good that they aren’t thrilled with their situation, either.)

4. Plan Getaways
One of the best parts of military life is the opportunity to see new places with each duty assignment. If you’re married with kids, plan a family weekend getaway to a nearby city. If kids aren’t in the picture yet, plan a couple’s meet-up weekend with friends you haven’t seen in a while. The trick is to have things to look forward to off-post periodically during your assignment.

5. Get Involved
This one can be challenging, and it may take persistence. One of the best things you can do for yourself, though, is to find some way to get involved in the community off post. Work outside the home, find an organization that values your skills as a volunteer, or join a club (I joined running clubs in Colorado Springs). Making friends off post will help you remember that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the Army gate.

I’m optimistic about living on post in Wiesbaden. No matter which apartment we’re placed in, we’ll make the best of our situation. And no matter what kind of housing we’re assigned, I’m absolutely confident that I’ll turn it into a peaceful and happy space for us to call home for our time here in Wiesbaden.

 

 

Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Hello, friends, and happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

Today, I’d like to honor some of my military spouse friends by highlighting their blogs or online businesses here on Marrying the Army.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to Pam McFarland!
Pam is an independent consultant for Nomades, a jewelry line that helps spouses celebrate each step of their military journey with sterling silver charms. I met Jane through the Successful Military Wife Marketing Makeover Challenge, and she struck me as reliably friendly and likeable. Please take a moment to visit Pam’s Namades site the next time you want to commemorate something special in your life as a military spouse! (You can also follow Pam’s Facebook business page here.)

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to Army Amy!
Amy is another blogger whose stories I enjoy and whose life has eerily paralleled my own lately. She ran her way through her husband’s deployment last year, and the same week that we were packing our household goods for our move to Germany, she and her husband were shipping their household goods back to the U.S. from Germany. If you enjoy active military spouses who share their story articulately and openly, visit Army Amy’s blog today!

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to Jane Bloggs!
Jane and I were also part of the Successful Military Wife Marketing Makeover Challenge, and I had the opportunity to work directly with Jane on product descriptions for her sparkling new website, Sew Lovely for  You. Jane creates custom, handmade vinyl gifts and home gifts that are affordable and fun. If you’re on the market for a clever, creative gift for your favorite military spouse, be sure to visit Sew Lovely for You.

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day to Kaye Putnam!
Last but not least is Kaye Putnam, the entrepreneurial mind behind Successful Military Wife and the Marketing Makeover Challenge where I met Pam and Jane. Kaye is a consultant to military spouses, but more importantly, she’s an empowerer of military wives. She believes that women who are married to a service member can create successful careers that provide the adaptability we need as military wives. If you’ve ever considered starting your own website or home-based business, Kaye’s website and newsletters are a great resource!

Do you appreciate what other military wives are doing online? Do you have milspouse friends who have unique Etsy shops or online businesses? Do you know military spouses who have great blogs? Do you want to promote your own site? Please do! Link up, and tell us why we should follow your link in a comment, below!

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!
~Melissa

 

First Thursday in Wiesbaden

Happy Thursday!

It’s bedtime on Thursday night here in Wiesbaden, and it’s been a good day — our first full one here in Germany.

Here are my two big hoorahs for the day:

First, I found the fitness center, paid in advance for spin and yoga classes, and got in a nice, long workout.

Second, I began studying German again. I studied it in college, but forgot most of it when I learned another language after grad school. Tt’s time to brush up on German again.

These things may not sound like much, but I feel great about beginning to establish my new routine so quickly after arriving here.

We learned a little bit about the Army post today, too:

It’s spread out over three locations. Luckily, the hotel is on the same location as the Post Exchange and the Commissary, so we can easily walk to pick up the basics or get fast food for dinner. (In case you’re curious, tonight we lived the high life, eating Kraft Mac & Cheese individual microwaveable bowls and hot dogs. For good measure, I also ate a banana and an apple. Dinner. Of. Champions.)

Nick reported to his unit and began getting his bearings there, and I started using the post bus system, which offers limited transportation between various key locations on post.

Our vehicle won’t arrive until mid-June, so we started shopping online tonight for a “hoopty”; an older commuter car available used at a low price. In the meantime, we’re reliant on Nick’s coworkers and the bus.

Finally, our sponsor reached out today to check in on us and invite us to have dinner together this weekend. We contemplated playing hard-to-get, telling him that our social calendar was just too full to fit something in on such short notice. In reality, our enthusiasm blew any kind of cool cover we may have had. We’re excited to start meeting people and exploring life here.

We’re in Germany!

Well, friends, Nick, Rosie (the dog) and I have arrived at the base lodge in Germany!

Before we left, people asked me a lot of questions about our travel. What kind of airplane would we fly on? Would it be a military airport or a civilian airport? How long is the flight? What’s the time difference?

We flew out of the international terminal of a civilian airport on the U.S. East Coast. Inside the terminal was an entire wing dedicated to military flights.

We flew a military charter flight, and it was my understanding that our pilot and copilot were Air Force airmen. Our stewards seemed to be civilian, but I’m not entirely sure about that.

There were both families and individual service members on board. Some were in uniform, and some were in civilian clothes. Some, like us, were PCSing to Germany. Others were going on to Italy, or to deployments elsewhere.

The plane had normal-style seats. There were small pillows and blankets on each seat, and there were 10 seats in each row. They served beverages, two small snacks, and a typical airplane dinner meal.

There were touchpad screens mounted on the back of each seat that offered TV shows, movies, games, and a real-time flight map. We left the East Coast at midnight, and we arrived in Ramstein approximately 7 hours later.

Once we landed at Ramstein Air Base, they de-boarded beginning with high-ranking leaders; colonels and CW5s and sergeants major. After that, they asked anyone continuing on to Italy to de-board. Finally (we’d been at our gate for 30 minutes or so by this time), they allowed the rest of us to leave the plane.

We were sorted by branch. All of the Army families were taken into a tile-floored, high-ceiling room that had storage shelves on all sides. Above each section of shelves was the name of an Army post in Germany, and we were instructed to put our bags (including pets, for those of us traveling with dogs or cats) on the shelves below our assigned duty stations.

We were then filed into a large waiting area, not dissimilar to the DMV or Social Security Administration office. There was row after row of waiting room chairs with a few desks near the front of the room. To the right was a USO concession area, and to the left were two laptops where you could wait in line to check email.

An hour or more into waiting there, they finally allowed us to walk our pets outside. We had to be accompanied by a Ramstein employee, and we were directed to a designated grassy area to walk our dogs on-leash. Our poor dog, Rosie, hates to travel, and she’s terrified of her carrier crate. If you put her in the belly of a plane inside a carrier for 10+ hours, she turns into a crazy-eyed, shaking, mess. By the time she was able to empty her tiny little bladder, she had to have been bursting at the seams. Thankfully, she survived the trip with trauma that appears to have been only temporary.

After pets were to relive themselves, smokers were escorted outside in groups of 5 while the rest of us waited. Nick and I read books and periodically exchanged comments about things around us. Mostly though, we were tired and a little fuzzy from the redeye flight and the new time zone.

Once all of the smokers were finished outside, a soldier stood at the front of the room calling out the last four digits of each soldier’s social security number. For each 4-digit number, a soldier would sound off and then walk to the front of the room to retrieve a sheet of paper that was part of his or her official orders. This went on until every single soldier had retrieved his or her document.

We’d been on the ground for nearly three hours at this point, and Nick and I began to wonder if we’d make it to Wiesbaden (a little over an hour away from Ramstein) in time to drop Rosie off at the kennel where she’d be staying for our first two nights in country.

All of the soldiers & families in the waiting area were PCSing to Germany. Some, including us, were being bussed to their new stations this afternoon, while others were being put up overnight in a hotel at Ramstein so that they could be transported to their duty assignments tomorrow. The staff called out duty stations one by one, and as they did, families would retrieve their luggage (and pets, where applicable) and leave the waiting area to board a bus to either their destination post or to their Ramstein hotel.

Late in the afternoon, we were finally place onboard a charter bus headed to Wiesbaden with two other families. Our driver was a 60-some German man who sang along with the polka-like German radio songs and made “brrrr” noises or buzzed his lips when he merged onto the Autobahn or accelerated. I wondered if they paid him extra to give us such an authentic German cultural experience on the bus ride to our post.

One of Nick’s new lieutenants met us at our hotel in Wiesbaden, briefing him informally on what his next two days hold. He helped us with our luggage, answered our questions, helped us check in, and gave us the great news that a pet-friendly room had become available for us so that Rosie wouldn’t need to be kenneled, after all. I don’t know much about this lieutenant yet, but that last bit of good news alone was enough to make me smile.

Our day ended with a walk to the Post Exchange to pick up a few toiletries and find dinner. It felt a little bit strange to eat Subway (me) and Popeye’s (him) as our first meals in Germany, but I guess that this is what it’s like to move abroad with the Army.

If you made it this far into this post, you’re either a total trooper or you’re wayyyy too fascinated by the details of a crazy-long travel day. Either way, thanks for taking this little journey with us, and I’ll be sure to keep the next post shorter and sweeter (and maybe even include some pictures!).